Wool E. Bull’s Diary: Entry Five

Dear Diar E.,

Since I’ve been filling people in on what I’ve been up to in the offseason, a few people have asked what my schedule is like on a game day. After all, the fans really only see me for three or so hours on days we have games. So, I decided to break down what a typical day is like for me during a home game.

6 a.m.: Wake up early, shower, and… Psh, hehehehe, no I can’t say that with a straight face. No chance I’m up at 6 a.m. For real, now.

11 a.m.: Wake up after a long slumber. Crank out some push-ups, check Twitter and eat breakfast. Usually I’ll just go in to my backyard and graze for breakfast. Luckily my backyard is 10 acres big.

12 p.m.: Watch the afternoon edition of SportsCenter. Need to stay up-to-date on the world of sports in case I can incorporate something in to one of my acts. Also, polish my ‘Best Mascot in Minor League Baseball’ plaque.

1 p.m.: Head to the ballpark. Early afternoon is a good time to drive. Since I take my go kart to and from the DBAP, it’s best I avoid rush hour.

1:30 p.m. to 3 p.m.: Take a trip to Nap City. Need more slumber.

4 p.m.: Make sure there is enough gas in my go kart and make sure I have enough t-shirts for the t-shirt launch. If it’s windy out I’ll practice shooting a few t-shirts to make sure I don’t shoot any on the roof. Still, there’s no simulation for the in-game experience.

4:30 p.m.: Dance like nobody’s watching because it makes me feel special. Plus I need to rehearse any dance moves I might use that night. Case in point.

5 p.m.: Stop by the clubhouse to go over the game plan with the manager.

5:01 p.m.: Get kicked out of clubhouse by manager.

5:30 p.m.: Eat dinner. Usually try to graze in the outfield, but the grounds crew always catches me.

6 p.m.: GET IN MY ZONE. Listen to my pregame playlist – which will remain private, because it’s MY zone. Get your own playlist.

7 p.m.: Showtime.

10:30 p.m.: Review tape of that night’s performance. Most mascots like to wait until the next day. Nope, not me. Figure out what went right, what went wrong, and process all of it before sleepy time.

11:30 p.m.: Eat any leftovers in the clubhouse.

12 a.m.: Arrive home. Fall asleep watching SportsCenter to see if any of my antics made the show that night (they never do, SMH).

So there you have it, a day-in-the-life of Wool E. Now, on to my NFL picks. BRUTAL week last week. Went 5-10, so I’m now 27-33 overall. Quickly finding out I’m not very good at this.

Bears @ Packers: Packers

Giants @ Rams (London): Giants

Saints @ Chiefs: Chiefs

Colts @ Titans: Titans

Vikings @ Eagles: Vikings

Browns @ Bengals: Bengals

Redskins @ Lions: Redskins

Raiders @ Jaguars: Raiders

Bills @ Dolphins: Bills

Ravens @ Jets: Jets

Bucs @ 49ers: 49ers

Chargers @ Falcons: Falcons

Patriots @ Steelers: Patriots

Seahawks @ Cardinals: Seahawks

Texans @ Broncos: Broncos

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